This guide is not about elegance, fencing manuals, or meta builds. This is about surviving long enough to reach endgame by doing what cavemen do best: bonk, poke, save money, and not die stupidly. If the game feels unfair, this approach makes it much easier.
Beggar
When caveman is beggar, caveman must learn first rule: killing is bad. Killing makes angry spirits, angry spirits make later pain.
Use big bonk stick. Bonk makes men fall, not die. Fallen angry men become nice men who give money, not ghosts.
This rank is suffering. Caveman must suffer. Save money. Insure one good weapon. If caveman struggles, big axe is good because it bonks and scares.
Peasant
Killing still bad, but sometimes caveman must kill. If caveman kill, caveman must not die.
Use bonk stick or big axe. Same logic. If caveman finds big angry man with long pointy stick and kills him, caveman must take stick. Long pointy stick makes next ranks easy. Poke angry men from far. Far is safe.
Commoner
Now killing is allowed, but dying is still bad. Many angry spirits exist now.
If caveman has long pointy stick, caveman pokes everyone fast and moves on. Goal is simple: find super pointy stick. Super pointy stick is best stick in game.
Once caveman has super pointy stick, most of game becomes easy until Man At Arms. Always pick up armor from angry men before leaving arena and pay to keep it. Also pick up extra super pointy sticks just in case caveman dies like idiot.
Militia
Nothing new. Use super pointy stick.
Take armor from angry men. Save money. Money important later.
Soldier
Same as Militia.
Pointy stick still king.
Armor stealing still good.
Veteran
Caveman now rich. Caveman strong.
Now caveman can start making big metal head stick. Big metal head stick good against big angry men. Caveman should be trained enough now to control bonks.
Sharp weapons still good against less armored angry men, but bonk is safer.
Man At Arms
Angry men now wear good armor. Sharp weapons become sad weapons.
Pointy stick still works, but caveman should now prefer big heavy bonk. Trip angry men, hit head, repeat.
Pick up good armor and insure it. If caveman has good armor, caveman should almost never die unless caveman trips like fool. Angry men love bonk too.
Knight
Same as Man At Arms.
Big bonk.
No trip.
Pick up good armor and weapons.
Sell old junk if need money.
When championship appears, caveman can hire other cavemen by talking to upstairs man with funny hat. Cavemen expensive. Me recommend only hiring for championship if struggling.
Lord
Do missions to reach championship. Riot missions very good. Riot missions give lots of experience. Caveman levels fast here.
Any weapon works in riots, but sharp weapons good for crowds.
At this point caveman should have very good armor and rarely die, even when tripped.
In championship, hire cavemen to fight small angry men so caveman can focus on super big angry man. When super big angry man falls, take his weapon. This is best bonk weapon in caveman opinion.
Caveman cannot take his armor, but will slowly get pieces after championships.
Always pick up super big bonk. Sell extras for money or keep spare for safety.
Abyss
Abyss is bad place. Caveman avoid unless caveman has good armor and good weapon.
In abyss, caveman must fight angry souls until one side gone. No surrender.
Angry souls are people caveman killed. If caveman killed many armored men, expect many armored angry souls. This is very bad.
If many angry souls come together, caveman must run and kill one by one. Do not stand and get eaten.
If angry soul gets close, it bites and tries to eat caveman. This hurts. Bring long stick and protect soft body with armor.
Smart caveman kills little early so abyss is small later. Dumb caveman kills everything and then must fight 200 angry souls like nightmare.
Caveman can pay angry souls by talking to weird corner man, or caveman can enter abyss early without money and suffer less.
Caveman Wisdom
Bonk more than kill.
Save money.
Steal armor.
Pointy stick early.
Big bonk late.
Do not trip.
Follow this and caveman reach endgame without crying.